When someone commits suicide they don't want to leave the world; they just want to stop feeling. After taking an immense amount of pain killers and sleeping pills i had the sudden realization: that my life was not worth ending. I had so much i would leave behind. After I did too much cocaine and drank too much vodka i just kept drinking and feeling the burn of powder in my nose so i wouldn't think about it. so i would just die and get it over with.
In our society we have been taught it is okay to say "I wanna kill myself!" in a humorous way. What is funny about that? you don't know what it's like to want to die. What it's like to lose all hope in everything. You don't know what it's like to live in a dark hole that seems like it has no end. You have never held a gun to your head; never tried to OD; never tried to hang yourself. I bet you have never even slit your wrists hoping to find a way out.
That is how it feels to want to kill yourself. Suicide isn't a joke. It's not funny. Find a new punchline to your life.
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