Je suis content, the French translation for "I am content".
When asked what was on my mind i first thought of gratitude. Gratitude that things didn't get worse. That i'm not dead. Grateful that i didn't use this week even in my weakest moments. I am grateful that a year ago i was in rehab. I am grateful that today i am sober, i am not in that place anymore.
But really, i'm still not as grateful as i should or could be. So content is a more fitting word. Meaning that i am okay with how things turned out. I may not always like it, or get my way. But i can live with myself now. I can live this life. I wouldn't say i'm excellent, because i am experiencing boredom with my "dull" life. It isn't dull. But it is beginning to feel that way. But in this moment i am content with the dull life i'm living. Because i would rather be living a dull life, than the insanity of a life i was living a year ago.

This too, Shall pass.

Some I just want to stop caring. I want to give up this great life I have. Some days I want to give up. I want to fall back down to where I began. It's not easy. It never is, it never will be. But just like all things in life; this too shall pass.
Just don't do it. Don't put something so shitty inside something so beautiful. Just don't do it and it will get better. Don't ruin all your hard work for one minute of quiet. Don't give in to the challenges of life.
Divine Intervention saved me this week. I attempted to get high twice. Each time something stood in my way. By the grace of God. By the grace of God i am still sober. So close to six months. I almost gave up. I just needed a reminder of all the reasons not to. All the reasons to just keep pushing forward. Because this hard time; just like all things in life, shall pass.
Nothing lasts forever. So for this minute: just breathe. Stay strong. You are stronger than you know.
Remember this hardship; like all things in life, shall pass.